


Constant Craving

by AFey



Category: 30 Rock
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AFey/pseuds/AFey
Summary: Liz Lemon has a problem with Jewel.Jack is an expert in problem-solving.This story takes place in a slightly AU 30 Rock. Post season-7, with the main difference being that TGS is somehow still on the air. Takes place during the 2016 election race.





	1. You Were Meant for Me

**Author's Note:**

> It's probably obvious, but the chapter title comes from the song by Jewel. Overall title, k.d. lang.

**You Were Meant For Me**

Liz Lemon is pissed off and to be clear, it's not because of Tracy’s latest shenanigans. To be honest, his plan to quit TGS and run for president is probably not the most far-fetched idea he's ever had. Although proposing his lizard as a running mate did definitely up the ante on the absurdity meter.

And it's not due to Jenna’s newest, misguided attempt to be seen as ‘edgy’ by doing something that demonstrates the exact opposite. Liz really doesn't have the heart to tell her that ‘leaking’ a sex tape to your own Facebook page and commenting on the fabulous lighting is really not how these things are done.

No, what’s got Liz totally steamed is Jewel. It's bad enough the mistress of poetic barbs fell in love with Sean Penn in the 90s. Tracy's stories - even if she's aware of the inherent exaggeration factor - have convinced her that Penn is definitely the worst. Ignoring that, what has Liz righteously annoyed is that it's Jewel's lyrics that have made her realise she's in love with Jack Donaghy.

The worst part of course is that she can't even talk to him about it. She cringes at how that conversation would go.

“Hey, Jack. I was listening to Jewel this morning-”

“Good God, Lemon. What are you doing listening to the overwrought lyrics of that snaggle-toothed hippie?”

It's a hopeless situation. And she really needs to stop listening to this song. On repeat. At work. Without headphones. She's not sure the writers will buy her explanation that she just really likes the part about breakfast food.  


	2. Fallen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is a man of action. A problem solver. But can all problems be crushed with his mind-vice?

**Fallen**

Jack Donaghy is a man of action. Whatever the situation, he can come up with a plan. Difficult problems are his speciality. Locate the problem. Isolate the problem. Set the problem up with a lesbian. He’s well aware Thomas makes that joke at his expense, but she’d be surprised how often this strategy works.

Of course, when it comes to Liz Lemon he knows from experience this approach is futile. Despite her bi-curious shoes, Lemon is firmly in the heterosexual camp. Still, he has to come up with some plan; according to his spy in the writers' room his co-worker-slash-little-brother is pining over someone. 

He assumes the someone is Criss Chros. The divorce came as a surprise. To most people. After her many relationship disasters, it did appear she'd finally found someone who would support her career and desire to be a mother, while sharing her appalling taste in food and TV shows. But if Jack is honest, he never really approved. When it comes to her choice in 'lovers' - and yes, he knows that word still bums her out - no one has ever been worthy. 

Despite his Reaganing abilities though, he is experiencing a rare moment of doubt. The election race is straining their relationship. Lemon is in full-on Clintonista mode and refuses to listen to common sense. And to be truthful, Jack is having a hard time advocating for a man who lies about a close relationship with the Gipper. Frankly, he'd find it easier to support Tracy as a presidential candidate. 

But self-doubt is not something to which he ever succumbs. No. He's Jack Donaghy. He's twice been on the cover of Problem-Solvers Monthly. This is a problem he can fix. He just needs to find a man worthy of Lemon. A man who will appreciate everything she has to offer while convincing her that she can achieve all her dreams. A man who respects her point of view even when she is clearly wrong. A man who enjoys her intelligence and weird sense of humour. A man who lo-...

Crap. That man is him.


	3. I Will Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As she struggles with her feelings, Liz can't help wondering why Jack is avoiding her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, apologies for how long this took to update! I'm definitely the worst.

It's eight o'clock on a Wednesday night and Liz is alone in her office. Tonight is Criss’s turn to look after Terry and Janet and she's in no rush to go home to an empty apartment. Having adapted to sharing a home, after so many years living by herself, she misses the noise and mess when the kids are with their father.

Despite the widespread belief that she’s a world-class grudge holder, the divorce has been amicable and Criss and her have a shared custody arrangement. And it's not part of some lame ‘conscious uncoupling’. No, it's simply two grown ups putting aside their differences for the sake of their children.

Though there's no one else around, she's listening to music with her headphones firmly in place. For the sake of her sanity, she’s banished Jewel from her playlist and is sticking with the safe musical stylings of T.I. and classic Broadway tunes. As far as plans go, it's only a partial success. Even without Jewel’s haunting lyrics, she finds herself distracted by thoughts of Jack - his blue eyes, the colour of a Mykonos sky, strong hands and perfect hair.

Luckily for her, he's been conspicuously absent since her frightening epiphany. While it seems her writers are as oblivious as always to her feelings and show zero interest in her personal life, she's pretty sure Jack will work it out as soon as he spends any length of time with her. There's probably some market research that’s proven a divorced woman in her forties will fall hopelessly in love with her mentor/work oracle.

Not that's she not grateful, but she can't help wondering why she hasn't seen much of him in the last week. Despite his role as Chairman of GE, she normally sees him as regularly as the old days. He’ll stop by to show her cute YouTube videos, comment on her wardrobe or, and this is totally blerg-worthy, suggest a Donaghy-approved lover for her to rebound with.

“At your age Lemon, you need to have sex within three months of your divorce or you'll be celibate forever.”

“Yeah, Jack. That sounds like a problem I really need to be concerned about. Have you forgotten who you're talking to?”

“After all these years, have you not discovered sex is a pleasurable activity? I thought that little elf prince broke down some of your ridiculous hang ups.”

“Jack, I'm not discussing my former sex life with Criss. All you need to know is that finding a lover, and God you know that word bums me out, is not a priority.”

With no drop-by visits, the past week has been marked by formal emails or conversations with that snide turd, Jonathan. The butt-kissing assistant is in seventh heaven, totally lording it over her.

“Mr Donaghy is far too busy to speak with you, Liz,” he crows, emphasising her name with his usual venom. “He will email you with the pertinent details.”

It takes all her self control not to respond with, “hate me all you like, he's never going to sleep with you Smithers.” As a zinger it's pretty cool, but she's trying this new thing where she doesn't express every petty thought that passes through her head.

She continues working for another hour before calling it quits. If she had the energy she'd insist on Frank and Toofer fixing their own sketches but sometimes the path of least resistance is just too tempting. In the end, she saves herself time and aggravation by just doing it herself.

For her efforts Liz decides she'll reward herself by stopping by the new awesome sandwich shop that opened up three weeks ago. She's just two subs away from a freebie, and she's intent on reaching her goal in under thirty days. Maybe she'll even buy two. It's been tough suppressing her super inconvenient feelings, so she definitely deserves it.

On her way to the elevator she contemplates visiting Jack’s office. She knows it's bonkers but if she can't be near the man himself, his office is the next best thing. Maybe she can even use his ‘thinking window’ to work out a solution to the ‘I'm in love with my best friend’ problem.

Of course she's being completely ridiculous and so when she reaches her destination, she presses the down arrow. She needs to get the hell out of the building, eat some delicious meatball subs, and get a decent night’s sleep.

When the elevator stops on her floor Liz sighs with relief. That relief evaporates when the doors open. There he is. Jack Francis Donaghy. Recent star of her disturbingly realistic sex dreams.

She greets him with a muttered, “hey, buddy,” and enters what she's just noticed is a pretty cluttered space. For some reason, Jack is flanked by two large oversized bags.

“What's with the luggage?”

“It's for a very important project I'm working on, Lemon.”

She wants to dig further but decides to let the topic rest. If Jack wanted her to know the details, he'd be launching into a persuasive pitch about some new technological development or ‘innoventive’ idea he's come up with.

As the elevator begins its descent, she searches for a safe subject of conversation.

The election race is out of bounds. Any time she extols the virtues of the Democratic nominee, Jack counters with his usual arrogant certainty, “you're completely delusional, Lemon. There'll never be a President Hillary.” Liz will never admit it, but after reading some of Michael Moore’s missives she fears Jack might be right.

In the end she chooses silence. It's super awkward. And it's so obvious that something is not only off with her but with Jack as well. Just when she's tempted to blurt out a comment about Jenna's latest social media blunders, the elevator comes to a stop somewhere between the third and fourth floors.

“Ah, nerds.”

“Don't fret, Lemon. It's all part of my plan.”

She turns her flat shark eyes on him, and speaks very slowly. “You. Planned. This?”

“Yes. The technicians will be here in two hours so we don't have much time to sort out your problem.”

“Problem?”

“Indeed, Lemon. It has come to my attention that you are pining.”

Liz looks away for a moment, before returning her eyes to his intense gaze. Ugh, big mistake. He's right, he really does have the piercing blue eyes of an ice dragon. How can she hide the truth from him now?

“I am not pining, Jack,” she says, in a way that sounds totally believable to her ears.

The scepticism is almost tangible in his reply, “Really? Because I've heard you're obsessed with a particular song by a snaggle-toothed, hippie.”

“Who told you that?” But she knows. It's Lutz of course. Poor, desperate Lutz who'll do anything to feel important.

“Well, you've been misinformed Jack.”

“I don't think so, Lemon. I made myself scarce thinking you'd seek out my, as always, expert advice. The fact that you did not do so confirms my suspicion.”

“And pray tell, what suspicion is that?” God, he can't have worked it out. Surely not. There has to be a limit to his powers.

“Clearly, you’re in love with me. It's a natural response for a divorced woman of your age to fall for the wise and stable friend.”

Liz snorts at that and decides to distract him with insults. “I'll concede that on some issues you are wise. But stable? Between your mummy issues and the sexual smorgasbord you distract yourself with, I don't think you want to play the stable card.”

“I've been celibate for two months now, Lemon. And if you've been paying attention, which we both know you have been, you'll know my issues with Colleen are resolved. In short, I am the perfect catch.”

She shakes her head and crosses her arms. How on earth can she be in love with this man? He's arrogant, convinced of his own superiority and perfection. And he's Republican. Yes, she needs to concentrate on that. It's a total deal breaker.

“And there's one other thing that's perfect about me.”

Liz groans but can't contain a smirk. “What’s that, Jack?”

“I love you, too.”

She rolls her eyes. Even for her, it's pretty epic. “Yes, I know. We've covered this. You love me in a totally platonic, non-Hallmark-tainted way.”

He takes a step towards her and reaches out to touch her hair.

“No, I love you.”

Naturally, Liz reacts in a totally appropriate way by fainting.


	4. Don't Be Afraid of Miracles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack discovers seducing Liz is not so easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N 1. Chapter title taken from a line in the Christopher Cross song, 'Lemon's Theme'.
> 
> A/N 2. This update is super short, but I figure it's better than nothing....(yep, I'm still the worst).

When Liz regains consciousness she's lying on the floor. Jack sits close by, fanning her with a copy of _The New York Post_. Making out the swaying image of the Republican nominee, she narrows her eyes.

“Jack, are you trying to make me barf?”

“Absolutely not, Lemon,” he replies, placing the paper on the floor. “That is definitely not part of my plan to seduce you.”

She snorts loudly and tries to sit up. A bout of dizziness hits, forcing her to lie back down.

“Charlie what now?”

“You're not making sense.”

She crosses her arms though the gesture loses some indignation when she's flat on the floor.

“I'm perfectly lucid. Let me get this straight. Your grand plan is to seduce me in this elevator?”

“As I've told you before Lemon, elevator sex is the best kind of sex.”

“Yeah, I'm not convinced. I took your advice about beach sex and ended up with sand all in my bathing suit area.” 

Shaking his head in apparent despair, his response is pure Donaghy arrogance. “That's terrible. When it's done correctly, they name a cocktail after you.”

Liz raises her eyebrows but resists the urge to roll her eyes. Her doctor would be proud.

“Anyway, what makes you think I'd have sex with you anywhere, let alone an elevator?”

“Clearly sex is the next stage of our relationship trajectory, Lemon. We're both single and as I said earlier, we’re in love.”

"I still deny that accusation," she replies, her face clearly conveying what she thinks of this entire conversation. Her mind on the other hand is betraying her with images of Jack pushing her up against the elevator wall.

"You can make that badger face all you like. There's no escaping this inconvenient truth."

"An Al Gore reference, Jack?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Elizabeth."

She smirks.  He must be at peak exasperation if he's using her first name.

"We're running out of time.  Now, close your eyes." 

 An irritated sigh passes her lips. “This is ridiculous.”

“Would you indulge me for once? I'm trying to surprise you.”

Liz sulks for a few moments before a thought occurs to her.

“Okay. On one condition,” she responds, making no attempt to hide her evil intent.

He groans. “No, not that. Anything but that.”

“I will close my eyes for as long as necessary. But in return, you have to listen to all the reasons why Hillary should be our next President.”

Jack rolls his eyes at her. It's not to Lemonesque standards, but she's pretty impressed by his effort.

“And you can't interrupt. Not even if you think I'm rambling. Not that I ever ramble. My political arguments are always on point and backed up with facts.”

Liz watches him rise from the floor, brushing his hands on his trousers before looking back down at her.  He really does have great hands. 

He shrugs his shoulders and walks across to the closest bag. “Very well, if you insist.”

She feels a momentary flicker of triumph until something occurs to her.

“By the way, Jack.”

“Yes, Lemon?”

“There will be a quiz.”

Closing her eyes, she hears him unzipping the bag, followed by what sounds suspiciously like a muttered, “blerg.”


End file.
